Crisis on My Infinite Brain

Hi I’m the Geek, and I have a problem. I am miserable, but I didnt know that. I am afraid, but I didnt know that. I am bored, but I didnt know that. I am alone, but I didn’t know that.

Why do I have these weird psychological problems even though im the generic man? I dont know that either.

You see, I approach a problem and solve it by knowing the it. You cant solve an equation if you don’t understand any of it, right? More and more things become unclear if you dive into something you try to fix yet have no idea of what it is or was.

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I’ve been practically apathetical, and more so emphathetical. Recently, I’ve questioned my ability to do work. My ability to do chores. My ability to help. My ability to care. I somewhat have a goto answer, like “i dont know” with an accompanying shrug. I became a bit intolerable emotionally. I realized I became a bit of a wuss, or some might say “on his period” – please excuse that sexist comment.

I’ve came across various ideas in my head, and up until awhile ago I’am still a bit of a loon. Yes, I still have problems. Yes, I may still be a bit of a wuss. And yes, I might not be instantly better tomorrow. But, I know that things will get better.

Come hither, a brain storm. (not a sexual euphemism, mind you)

I remembered a term I [always] encountered. Existencial crisis. Yes, I’ve got the problem! Actually, I got the gist of it. I am practically – emotionally – imbalanced. Now, to self-diagnose myself based on our ever trusted buddy – Wikipedia. heh.

An existential crisis may result from or be a misdiagnosis of or be comorbid with:

  • Major depressive disorder
  • Dissatisfaction with one’s life
  • Major psychological trauma
  • The sense of being alone and isolated in the world;
  • A new-found grasp or appreciation of one’s mortality;
  • Believing that one’s life has no purpose or external meaning;
  • Searching for the meaning of life;
  • Shattering of one’s sense of reality, or how the world is;
  • Awareness of one’s freedom and the consequences of accepting or rejecting that freedom;
  • An extremely pleasurable or hurtful experience that leaves one seeking meaning;

[source]

Now, come the solutions. Which I’d rather solve by one’s own volition. I maybe a frail man but I believe I can overcome my own psychological problems, it’s my brain afterall. 🙂

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